A few funnys

My gay mate, who is dyslexic, couldn’t wait for February 14th. He thought it was Vaseline day.

People should lay off Lance Armstrong I think what he achieved was amazing… When I was on drugs I couldn’t even find my bike!

After seeing the Swansea ball boy keep possession of the ball for more than 10 seconds Aston Villa have made a bid of £20 million for him.

My slow witted mate got sacked from his job at B&Q for knocking out an African woman. I think he needed more training when instructed to ‘go and find a Black and Decker’!!

Just watched the Lance Armstrong interview again. He lied to us so much and for so long I’m starting to doubt he landed on the moon at all.

Bradford city have announced that cup final ticket prices will start at 60 Rupees each and are limited to 40 per household.

After the horsemeat scare an old Irish Lady called Tesco’s customer services and complained her Risotto has gorilla in it. The matter was quickly resolved when the assistant explained the photo on the box was Ainsley Harriot.

I called in sick today and told the manager ‘the doctor says I have anal blindness. ‘What is that he asked’ I said I can’t see my ass coming into work today.

I’m starting to take this drink driving thing seriously now . Left the car in the pub car park last night & took the bus home. Quite proud of myself really, I’ve never driven a bus before.

My mate Paddy rang me and said he’s just got this bargain coat from House of Frazer. Originally it was £400 but he got it for just £25. He said it was supposed to be slightly imperfect but he’s had a look all over and the only thing he can find is one sleeve slightly longer than the other two!

One Response to “A few funnys”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow cuz this is great work! Congrats and keep it up

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